Romantic Love Relationships

According to Wikipedia Romance is the expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person. This feeling is often associated with sexual attraction. In the context of Romantic Love Relationships, romance usually implies an expression of ones strong romantic love or ones deep and strong emotional desires to connect with another person intimately or romantically.

I had three romantic love relationships aka boyfriends in my live. These where long lasting relationships. The curious thing was that all three where ADHDers. They say that when it comes to mental health, like attracts like. It seems like we're more likely to be attracted to people who resemble us in some characteristic or another. Wherever that may be true I do not know. But I did not consciously choose for a boyfriend that had a mental issue; it just happened this way in all three occasions.

I got my first boyfriend when I was 17. Most of my friends where already in a love relationship back then so I thought it was time for me to experience that as well and consciously choose for it. I looked among friends and acquaintances who could be a suitable candidate and went for it. I did not feel any love or something like that but more the fact that this person was attractive and very popular among girls. He was a famous Kickboxer back then. The relationship was friendly and we could get along fine. I don't think he was in love with me either. Later on he told me he had ADHD since little, something that I didn't know what it was back then. At that age I didn't even know I had a mental issue myself as I never been diagnosed or to the doctor for that before. The relationship lasted for a few years then we got bored of each other and drove apart.

 My second relationship was with a childhood friend that I grew up with, a Kickboxer and Taekwondo fighter. Since little we had a crush on each other. But because his family moved to another town we lost contact for years. We met again and this time the sparks flew all over the place. It was very intense and we couldn't get enough of each other. We quickly moved in together and this relationship was the longest I ever had. But it was as well the most toxic relationship ever; truly hell. I later found out he was an ADHDer but one with severe issues. In the meantime I was already diagnosed, on meds and in treatment. My condition and his put a big strain on the relationship and it was like a big dangerous rollercoaster ride. The relationship was extremely violent in nature at times. He refused to take meds and treatment and accuse me of all our relationship problems. I even start believing that it was all my fault and my self esteem dropped to extremely low levels. He was very manipulative and tried to change me in a person that I was not. So slowly I became a shadow of myself; I was dying inside. I isolate myself from most of my friends and devoted myself only to him. I was like a very sad bird locked up in a cage. It took me years to finally be able to boost up my self esteem and had the courage to break free from this cage and fly away to freedom. And since then I vowed to myself that I would never, ever again become this sad bird in a cage.

 My third and last relationship was very different from the former one. I was now older and wiser. He was a Mountain biker like me and we became friends and with time we start a romantic relationship. Since the beginning he told me he has ADHD but we never really talked about it. It seems like he could manage his condition very well. He would follow a very strict routine and schedule and would write everything down not to forget. If there is some deviation to his routine and schedule, this would totally threw him off. As well he makes sure to have his stuff at home nicely placed and organized. If something gets removed he would get extremely upset so I would’ve make sure to stay far away from his stuff. He was a very impulsive and hyperactive type always in a rush and jumping from one activity to the other. He could be very high tempered as well but never violent. Our relationship was very respectful and he would always give me my space and freedom. We had very independent and free lives and fight rarely. He would’ve make a perfect long time partner, maybe husband, was it not because of his hyperfocus that got in the way. He start neglecting the relationship and was extremely hyperfocus on his work and carrier. So much that we where spending less and less time together as he was so busy with work and the relationship was not his priority anymore. At some point we decide that it was better to go our separate ways. We remain best friends to this day. If there is such thing called “love” this would be the man that I have “loved” the most.